A fan?

Many people used to ask me(and still do) why did I choose Taiwan, both at all or over mainland China. I used to answer that I watched some taiwanese tv soap operas and became a taiwan fan. But am I a taiwan fan still? I could hardly say I am a Finland fan, even though I love it very much. Can you be a fan of a place you have called home?

Small things I do

These days I have been having so much fun with my friends, laughing at silly things, doing even sillier things, and just being free and happy. I love my friends, and my life here in Jyväskylä would be nothing without them. But then, sometimes, in the middle of planning new bands and "bands" with them, I suddenly remember the JiaoDa choir and how it felt like to be one sound with them, and I just want to get back. That is one of the reasons why I want to sing the taiwanese songs with our singing group: some part of these lives would be together, connected with music that can be felt in every language.

Now, when I see an asian face, I automatically focus on them, straining to hear if they speak chinese or not, unconciously following them. To me, sometimes they look more familiar than these white-faced strangers. I saw an asian father playing with his kid on the yard of my appartment building, and I just stopped and stood there watching them play like I'd seen a father with his kid for the first time. Somehow I feel connected to them, even though I have no idea who they are.

Today morning I went to buy something to drink and I found a bottle of Guava juice in the crocery store. It made me so happy that I was smiling there alone. I bought it even though it was ridiculously expencive, because that is one of the flavours of Taiwan to me. The taste makes me remember.

Some moments I perfectly love the peace and quiet in here, embracing the silent streets in the evening. I love the early autumn breeze on my face, although I know it's the sing of coming winter. The nature looks so beautiful, so untouched, so familiar and friendly. Some other moments I feel all this, but still strangely miss the noise, and the crowd and the flashing lights of the night market, and the lovely buzz on the campus in Jiaoda.. Before I went to Taiwan, I always thought the amount of people and the hectic rhythm of the city would be the worst for me.. And now I find myself looking at the pictures and wishing I could hop back in the middle of those people.

I met some taiwanese exchange students in Jyväskylä this week. I'm hoping I will make friends with them and maybe others that will come later, maybe that way I can feel my other home country through them, and also get to speak chinese, which I do not want to forget after spending so much time and effort on learning it.

Finding back my life

When I was in Taiwan, I had a life, that was completely new and totally different. It was also almost completely separated from my old life in Finland. It's like I lived the life of a completely different person, who happens to be very much like me.

But Taiwan was the life of Zhenzhu, the other Reetta, and now I am back to my old life again, with my family, my studies, my friends. It was really hard to think how it would feel like to be back again, maybe the same, maybe different, maybe my friends don't remember me anymore, maybe they all missed me really bad? I was a little afraid, even. When I came back, and saw everyone, it feels mostly like I had never even been away. That the whole year was just a dream, and I was with all these people just yesterday.

And yet the whole year was so true, and there are so many memories, people and experiences in my heart, that can never be truly understood by these people, that took me back like I was the same me. It's also a relief, no one has forgotten me, I haven't lost anything, only gained more.

And this is the story my blog wants to tell: How it is to live my old life again, and how is Taiwan now part of it. It is in english, because I want my friends from both of these lives to understand me. :)